I have been known to be extremely critical of marriage.
I have been heard to say that there are only two reasons for people to marry – fear and obligation.
Fear of losing someone, fear of not being able to control someone for the rest of their life, fear of change, fear of sharing, fear of reality, fear of infidelity.
Obligation – because we are validated by marriage, because our partner wants us to marry them, because we do not want to be seen as a commitment-phobe, because we are miseducated, because we are told that marriage is essential for parenting, because our religion sold us a lie, because everyone else did it, because we should.
Fear and Obligation were my primary reasons to explain why people married.
But now I have a third reason – STUPIDITY.
I am ashamed of myself.
I forgot that people do not think that much. I omitted to account for the sheep-like behavior of the human. I denied people their true nature. I allowed myself to make an assumption – an assumption that people needed a reason to make a decision that would effect the rest of their lives.
In reality, people do not think. They just do. They just do what they are told and sold.
Hence the financial success of religion. Hence the power of government and corporations. Hence the fiscal irresponsibility of the masses. Hence the health issues of so many. Hence the mess we are all in.
STUPIDITY is prevalent.
STUPIDITY is the reason so many people marry, and then divorce.
It’s not always a calculated decision. It’s not always logical. It’s not even sensible. It’s just STUPIDITY.
“Oh, my boyfriend likes me. I’m 25. He asked me to marry him. I love him. Yes, okay. I do.”
Not, “Hold on a second, I’m only 25 and I’ve only had four serious relationships and none of them lasted more than 2 years, and now I think I can spend the rest of my life with this one person that I kind of love!”
STUPIDITY – based on false hope, lies, and miseducation. Some of you may even claim that it is naivety. But that just proves my point – you have all seen the divorce rate and the misery that only marriage can manage.
And so, I apologize to those of you who I admonished for getting married because of fear and obligation.
I apologize for making an assumption that you might have thought things through for the long run and for your children.
I accept now that there is often no real rhyme or reason or thought put into these monumental decisions.
There has always been a third reason that I had not allowed myself to consider – STUPIDITY.
If you really think it through, you will see that either you do not need marriage or you should not get married – you do not need marriage because marriage guarantees nothing (except divorce), and you should not get married because then you base your decisions and actions on the truth (and not on a fairy tale).
Harsh. But true.